I'd take everything sellable from my apartment down to the pawn shop, pack three changes of clothes and whatever money I could get into my backpack, and start hitchhiking my way to Nevada. Job, apartment, school, bills, and all other trappings of daily life be damned.
Why Nevada? Because that's where the annual Burning Man festival (or event, or community) is held, in the Black Rock Desert.
The funny part about this sudden desire is that it came on this morning for no apparent reason. Nobody mentioned Burning Man, nothing was in the news, no one had even said Nevada in my presence in about eight months or so. Suddenly I want to abandon everything and head to the desert, only to find out that Burning Man is set to take place in 19 days (actually 19 days, 3 hours, and 17 minutes according to the Burning Man Countdown.
According to the way I view the world, this is a sign. A big obvious billboard of a sign. The only problem is, if I leave now I leave behind my daily life. Sounds fun, but my life isn't so bad. Sure it's complicated and occasionally stressful, sometimes dull, but it's mine and it's headed somewhere. I have goals and dreams and plans to accomplish both.
But what if I go? What if I leave tomorrow? What would my life be like if I dropped everything without a word and smashed my daily routine to pieces all because of a gut feeling? Would I regret it later? Or would it be the one moment that defined the course of my life more than any other? And if it is that moment, would my life change for the better or the worse?
I think life is only fun when you look at every day as a serious crossroads. Today seems to be fitting the bill just fine. As of now I'm pretty sure I know which way I'll choose to go. But since I could change my mind any minute now, I don't think I'll write here what my decision is.
Have a nice night either way, and I'll see you all tomorrow.
Maybe.
~Attilla
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5 comments:
i hate to break it to you, but i mentioned the burning man festival to you this morning (as you were just getting out of bed, perhaps)when i asked you when we were going to go to new orleans to mardi gras and then i asked where the burning man festival was and you told me nevada. either that or you did randomly mention it, but i belive it was the former. whatever the case, it would be fun to drop every little shit thing and go. if you need a partner, i could totally swing it. i don't know if we need to sell everything first, but we could still go. you do have goals and dreams (which you will meet and/or exceed) and i'm interested to see if your big decision is something that i don't already know about. i'm tempted to call you, but i figure if it was urgent enough, you'd've called me. i love you.
by the way, it's totally tubular that you're posting again. michelangelo would totally approve, dude. PIZ-ZA!
well i have to agree with brianne's last statement about being happy with the fact that you're bloggin' again...you're writing has a wonderful flow to it, whether i enjoy the topic is another issue altogether!! JUST TEASIN'!!
and i love that she called you on your random thought process, and it's not-so-randomness!!
i'm always up for spontenaiety in regards to life and whatever it has to throw at you, but we've all been conditioned to listen to that little interrupting voice of reason, whenever we think about doing anything rash...but we lead anything BUT a normal/boring life...why just look at our fantastic sex life!!
xoxo
While I'm crushed at the possibility that this isn't all random signiness, and at the fact that my boyfriend feels comfortable posting comments about our sex life on a blog read by my co-workers, friends, and family (thanks Joe), I did pass a truck today that said 'BLACK ROCK CONSTRUCTION', which is totally an unprompted sign if there ever was one.
holy slut-- let's go!
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