Monday, December 12, 2005

John Howard is a Hypocrite

"Attacking people on the basis of their race, their appearance, their ethnicity, is totally unacceptable and should be repudiated by all Australians," Howard said.

Right, because attacking Arabic people is only okay when you're doing it to take their oil. Thanks for the moral lesson John.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

How and why?

Patient and steady with all he must bear,
Ready to meet every challenge with care,
Easy in manner, yet solid as steel,
Strong in his faith, refreshingly real.
Isn't afraid to propose what is bold,
Doesn't conform to the usual mould,
Eyes that have foresight, for hindsight won't do,
Never backs down when he sees what is true,
Tells it all straight, and means it all too.
Going forward and knowing he's right,
Even when doubted for why he would fight,
Over and over he makes his case clear,
Reaching to touch the ones who won't hear.
Growing in strength he won't be unnerved,
Ever assuring he'll stand by his word.
Wanting the world to join his firm stand,
Bracing for war, but praying for peace,
Using his power so evil will cease,
So much a leader and worthy of trust,
Here stands a man who will do what he must.

Who the FUCK thinks this sort of thing is anything but revolting?
Quick! Somebody compose a poem that spells out ILOVESTALIN.
Or better, one that spells ITSGOODTOBEAWARCRIMINAL.
Fuck you George Dubya. Fuck you in the ace.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

It's called CANADA. Look it up.

You're not in a race to become Prime Minister of Alabama.

Friday, December 02, 2005

I take it back.

Stephen Harper, you are a tool. A big, goddamn tool.
Here I had gone and predicted a Conservative minority government and what do you go and do THE VERY FIRST DAY OF THE CAMPAIGN?
You bring up same-sex marriage. And you tell people you will make it illegal again. Without using the Notwithstanding Clause. Which is legally impossible.
And you do this while trying to win votes in Ontario! Where people are economically conservative maybe, but socially liberal! How many voters in suburban Toronto do you really think are up in arms over same-sex marriage? 6? Maybe 10? Seriously, if there are more than 15 I bet it's because you bussed them in there in advance.
And then, you announce that you're going to lower the GST. Which economists all across the country say is a bad idea. You remember economists don't you? They're the people who are RESOUNDINGLY conservative by nature AND are the go to guys on economic policy. Seems you didn't bother to go to, as I'm sure they would have suggested some ideas that are at least slightly feasible.
Finally, have you considered leaning a little less to the right on social policies? You know, now that former PC prime minister Kim Campbell has publically said that you'll never win because Canadians aren't socially conservative?
Seriously, why would we vote for you when people from your own side are telling us you won't (and shouldn't) win. People don't get much more conservative than Ralph Klein and even he's predicting another Liberal government! Has any of this prompted you to think oh, I don't know, maybe you're doing SOMETHING WRONG?!
Mr. Harper, I'm as sick of being governed by the Liberals as you are. Paul Martin makes me want to puke every time I look at him. But as long as the most visible alternative is a party full of jackass incompetants who want to strip Canadians of their rights (by which I mean mine, asshole) you might as well start preparing for Martin's coronation ceremony right now.
In the mean time, I'll be busy voting NDP, like the rest of the sensible people in this country. I suggest you occupy your time by spicing up your resumé. You don't seriously think that you'll still be party leader for much longer now, do you? You do?
Oh that's just cute. Good luck then, and happy failing.

Monday, November 14, 2005

I spy with my little eye...

Around the edges of the Living Room:
Desk, Speakers, Dishrag, Bookshelf, Tupperware, Flame-Retardant Lab Coat, Canadian Defense Magazine, Birthday Cards, Mason Jar, Chair, Lab Manual, two issues of Exlaim! magazine, one wool sock, lamp, empty pint of Crown Royal, dish cloth, garbage, guitar, an box, empty perrier bottle, Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse 5, pair of fake bat wings, plaster casts of feet, the couch, milk crates, board games, a water jug, two 5lb weights (unused), dvds, Light Bright, bath towel, an iron, the other wool sock, "ye olde" ice-cream maker, screen divider, a blue lightbulb, a Louis Armstrong lamp, mostly deflated blue exercise ball, garbage, tv stand featuring: a broken shot glass, a straw chicken getting fucked by a Data action figure, a dirty wine glass, and back to the floor: a blue yoga mat, filing cabinet, light bright box with pegs, Casio keyboard, small table, empty aquarium, a calculator, Beachville Lakeside Timberlea Elementary School Cafeteria menu from 2002, a landscape painting by Bob Hunsley, dirty cloth napkin, a Clue boardgame, an empty cardboard envelope, milk crate, bookshelf, pile of textbooks and Crow Bar labels, set of wrist weights (unused), pair of knit slippers (unused until I was informed just now that they were mine, brand new. Very comfy.), a planter, a pencil, and one double A battery.
It's pretty clear that mom would be appalled.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Psychic Sidekick

Here are my predictions for the upcoming election(s):
1. Conservatives win a minority government.
It's okay, it's only going to last a couple of months, then we'll have a new Liberal government, most likely with Frank McKenna at the head. Much like many Canadians with an ounce of common sense and sanity, I shudder at the thought of a Canada governed by Prime Minister Stephen Harper. *shudder* (see?) However, the thought of Paul Martin winning another election makes me almost as nauseated. Having the conservatives attempt to govern (again, six months at the maximum, more likely 90 days or less) will at least give the Liberals time to cut out all the dead wood (See Mr. Dithers, etc). If things happen this way, then we'll be free of Martin, and Harper after he manages to fuck things up so bad that his government lasts less time than Joe Who's. The Conservatives will dump him, Peter MacKay will get the leadership, and then no one east of Manitoba will ever vote Conservative again because they're a party of useless tools, and they'll be headed by a sooky idiot who can't seem to keep his word or his girlfriend.
2. NDP will pick up seats in urban areas and rural areas with unusually high levels of common sense.
Admittedly, this isn't so much a prediction as a hope. If this does happen, after Harper fucks it up as we all know he will because he's Stephen Harper and it is his cosmic destiny to fuck things up, the NDP will be in a strong position to hold the balance of power under a McKenna government. As a young, gay, pot smoking Nova Scotian university student (see left winger), anything that gives the NDP any kind of power is fine by me.
3. The Green Party will get almost no votes, and disband, and rot in hell.
Seriously, Green Peace has come out and said that the NDP's environmental platform is better than that of the Green Party. You know the Green Party, they're the ones that run solely on environmental issues. Just disband already, and give your votes to the NDP. You don't even have to wrap them. Jack Layton will take them even if you've bent, scuffed, or marked on them. Just go away, stop splitting the left vote, and most importantly GO AWAY.

PS: Don't vote Green.

Friday, October 21, 2005

I am a musical fruit

Has anyone else bought the new Franz Ferdinand cd?
I rarely blog about music, but then I rarely blog, so here you go. Buy this cd. It's fab.
Ab fab even.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Once again...

Once again, another lengthly article, but also quite a moving one. This time from The Guardian. If you want to help make the world a better place, this should appeal to you.
Check it out.

Sunday, September 11, 2005


Everyone please check out this article from, and please try to read it all the way to the end. It's seriously worth it. Absolutely brilliant as far as I'm concerned, and I think a lot of people would be better off for hearing what this guy has to say.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Masons Beach God Clouds

Masons Beach God Clouds

Anyone wondering why I'm usually so mellow, check this out. This is the view from the patio at the cottage where I grew up. How can you turn out anything but peaceful when you look at this every day?

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Colourblind Much?

Colourblind Much?

Or not? These colours are set to stay at least until I get bored of them in 20 minutes. What do you think? Please leave me a comment about the colours, not about the timber industry or cheap viagra.

I want my titles back!

My wonderful new template didn't show my titles, so in a fit of rage I deleted it entirely.
See me, full of rage.


It's amazing how fast you can type...

It's amazing how fast you can type after drinking a large cappuccino. This whole entry should take less than 20 seconds. Fuck me I think I'm having heart palpitations.
coronary crisis aside, I'm getting ever closer to going back to school. I'm more excited than terrified so far, which I think is a good sign. I've had a couple of good signs so far, in that I've been admitted to major in political science (so expect many more political rants on this blog, sorry Big J) and a did surprisingly well on my French placement test.
Now all I have to do is continue waiting semi-patiently to hear back from student loans. I'm trying to be optimistic but after applying late and waiting a month and a half, I'm starting to get concerned. I think there's a good chance that I'll get my loan, but I don't know how much faith I have in getting it before the September 14th deadline. Not only that, but I'd kind of like to have some money to buy textbooks before school actually starts.
But forget about that, as there's no point in worrying about things you can't change. This is probably going to be the most helpful thing in getting through the next few years of school. I think if more people would wake up and realize that worrying actually doesn't solve anything, and in fact tends to make situations worse, we'd all be a lot better off. Except for therapists of course, who would be out of business by noon the next day.
This is hardly the time to worry anyway, as I've finally been approved for some vacation time. This is not a much needed break. That would be an understatement. This is a 'give me time off before I rip out my own pancreas out of frustration and start force feeding it to random guests' type of vacation. Much much needed, to put it another, slighly more PC way.
In case anyone is wondering when I even learned what the words 'politically correct' meant, that would be right around the same time I learned that one of my managers reads my blog regularly.
That said, hi cutie! Thanks for reading.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Blatant Compliment Fishing

I'll come right out with it. What does everyone think of the new blog layout?
So far I like it but I'm afraid I went a bit overboard with all the blue. Originally it had a white background though and I just couldn't let that continue. Seriously, why would anyone read an entirely white blog? How bland. Hmm, just noticed how that last sentence sounds outrageously racist in the wrong context...

Friday, August 19, 2005

And now I'm being punished.

Holy hell.
So obviously I decided against following all the signs and high-tailing it for Nevada. And now, as a result, I'm fucking sick.
For the second Friday in a row. Correction, the second Friday on which I was supposed to go party downtown with the previously absent Christina-4-Ever (pron fo' evah).
This must be the last time I piss fate off. Hell next time I'll probably end up with ebola or syphilis.
The one great side effect of my illness appears to be a complete lack of guilt at not doing any work. (Hence blogging.) I have an entire inbox jam packed with stupid files crying out for my attention, but my cold seems to have come with a mild case of deafness.
So far my night has consisted of blowing my nose, sitting, blowing my nose, eating chocolate, blowing my nose, sitting, blogging, and blowing my nose. Not too bad overall, although I could really do without the resulting bright red mustache.

Monday, August 15, 2005

If I could do one thing today....

I'd take everything sellable from my apartment down to the pawn shop, pack three changes of clothes and whatever money I could get into my backpack, and start hitchhiking my way to Nevada. Job, apartment, school, bills, and all other trappings of daily life be damned.
Why Nevada? Because that's where the annual Burning Man festival (or event, or community) is held, in the Black Rock Desert.
The funny part about this sudden desire is that it came on this morning for no apparent reason. Nobody mentioned Burning Man, nothing was in the news, no one had even said Nevada in my presence in about eight months or so. Suddenly I want to abandon everything and head to the desert, only to find out that Burning Man is set to take place in 19 days (actually 19 days, 3 hours, and 17 minutes according to the Burning Man Countdown.
According to the way I view the world, this is a sign. A big obvious billboard of a sign. The only problem is, if I leave now I leave behind my daily life. Sounds fun, but my life isn't so bad. Sure it's complicated and occasionally stressful, sometimes dull, but it's mine and it's headed somewhere. I have goals and dreams and plans to accomplish both.
But what if I go? What if I leave tomorrow? What would my life be like if I dropped everything without a word and smashed my daily routine to pieces all because of a gut feeling? Would I regret it later? Or would it be the one moment that defined the course of my life more than any other? And if it is that moment, would my life change for the better or the worse?
I think life is only fun when you look at every day as a serious crossroads. Today seems to be fitting the bill just fine. As of now I'm pretty sure I know which way I'll choose to go. But since I could change my mind any minute now, I don't think I'll write here what my decision is.
Have a nice night either way, and I'll see you all tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

O Canada

Concrete proof that Canada is one of the coolest damn countries on the planet.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Saturday, May 21, 2005

82% of Canadians are Dorks

Or at least they support keeping the Queen as our head of state, according to a poll on the Globe and Mail's website.
Seriously, what the hell is the point of having a decrepit old European as our head of state? Are we so immature as a nation that we really need Grandma holding our hand every step of the way? I realize that the biggest argument for her is "It's tradition." but come on! Just because somthing is tradition doesn't make it worth keeping. Lots of shitty, shitty things have overstayed their welcome simply because they're tradition.
Here's a phrase for everyone that I think has a wonderful ring to it. The Republic of Canada. Doesn't that flow nicely?
Just imagine it if you can. Canada with it's own elected head of state. Nothing extravagant like in the US, but maybe a figurehead President. Real power would still rest with the prime minister and parliament, but our head of state would be an elected Canadian. Wouldn't that make everyone just a little bit prouder than having a former CBC television personality flying around representing an outdated and foolish British family?
82%! Eighty-two percent! Christ! What's wrong with this country? Let me put it this way people: How does having a British monarch on top encourage unity between French and English Canadians? Does anyone really thing that having a representative of the institution that conquered Quebec remain our head of state 138 years after Confederation makes Quebecers proud to be part of Canada?
Which leads me to wonder, how did the Queen escape our government policy of appeasing Quebec? Everything else that gets done in Canada is done to shut Quebec the hell up, so how come la Belle Province hasn't demanded that Lizzy get the boot yet?
Oh right, because they don't care enought about her to even bother whining about it! So I guess English and French Canadians do have one thing in common: None of us give a shite about the Queen. Not even the 82% of Globe readers that are dorks. I'm willing to bet that the only reason they support keeping her is that they don't support caring enough to waste any time getting rid of her.
I'd just like the Queen to know that there's at least one Canadian out there that cares deeply about her. And even more deeply about turfing her. God save the Queen alright.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

What Now? Oh yeah, pot and gay marriage...

Consequences of Stephen Harper's actions:

1. Belinda Stronach is now a Liberal cabinet minister adored by almost every left leaning Canadian.
2. Paul Martin has, against all odds, regained some confidence and even charisma. Some.
3. Conservative party looks even more right wing and alien than ever before, with the added bonus that it is now seen as an ally of separatists.
4. We've pretty much forgotten about the sponsorship scandal, at least for now.
5. Peter Mackay looks like a kicked puppy. He'll be taken seriously again sometime around never.
6. Stephen Harper now looks childish, impatient, arrogant, and most importantly weak.
7. Odds that Conservatives will form a government any time soon? Down more than enough to make me happy.
Thanks Steve. Keep up the good work.

Dark Side Not Sexy Afterall, Survey Says

Everyone who's ever been a Star Wars fan (a real one, no fakers who have only seen one or two) has had that thought that maybe, just maybe, the Dark Side is kind of sexy and cool. Darth Vader, oh so cool. Death Star that destroys entire planets? Also, kind of cool. Evil Emperor who offs people with blasts of purple lightning?
Doesn't get much cooler than that.
Man, oh man, how George Lucas has disavowed us all of that notion. For five feature films he let us sit back and wonder just which side we would choose if we ever had to. We all thought that there were good points to either side, and Lucas let us go on thinking that. Until last night.
Update for those who for some reason haven't seen Revenge of the Sith yet: Dark Side = Bad. Real bad. Oh so very, very bad. Nothing good will ever happen ever again bad. Ever.
At least not until A New Hope.
Ep. 3's main achievement as far as I'm concerned was to take Darth Vader from a cold, purely evil monster, and turn him into a hugely tragic figure. Of course this was known to some extent before, but never in such gut wrenching detail. I'll personally never be able to look at the original three in the same way again, which I guess was the whole point.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Monday, May 16, 2005

Movies in the Makin'

Tonight we came up with a brilliant idea. Beanypod bought herself a digital camera today that takes 30 second videos, so we're going to invest in numerous re-chargeable batteries and shoot our own short film. Now all we have to do is find something interesting to film.
Any minute now.
Mild controversy today when after being up for only four hours I sat down for lunch and ordered Japanese beer in front of my parents. Good times did not ensue as they were fully blocked by the passive aggressive wrath of Mom.
This could have lead to problems but I headed off the wrath by buying a belated mothers day gift. Dinner ended up ruined anyway, not by parental hostility but by spicy chicken. One mad dash later and dinner was gone but not forgotten. I'm sorry, but that's the way it happened.
Today's not a complete write off though. Bean and I got our hands on three tickets to the midnight showing of Episode III Wednesday night! So so excited.
Leaving off, it appears we're back to movie making. Jesus and Bean just made a short short film about spousal abuse. Surprisingly light and funny actually, I give it four stars.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Viva la Revolución (aka Political Optimism)

Let's make a quick list shall we?

Possibly Uzbekistan
And to a lesser extent, Ecuador.

And I've probably missed a few. In less than two years all of these countries have had, or are in the process of having, popular revolts against corrupt governments. I'm not sure what's gotten into people in these countries but let's have some more of it shall we?
Predictably, America claims to be influencing these changes through their oh so successful policy of spreading freedom and liberty around the world. (um, see Iraq.) Except in Uzbekistan where they the US gives ten million dollars a year to support a government that is renowned for it's widespread use of torture tactics. Including against terrorist suspects detained by the US, hence the generous monetary gifts.
Anti-government protests are even spreading through China, although you would never know it reading North American newspapers. Our local media outlets are more than happy to report on the anti-Japanese protests that are partially sponsored by the Chinese government, but for some reason are strangely silent about the growing dissent among the Chinese poor. I don't suppose it has anything to do with our ever increasing trade with China? Certainly not, that would be bias in favour of commercial interests, and that's something that would never happen in a fair and balanced media environment. Or so I'm told, I live in Canada so I can't really say for certain.
Take all these popular revolts around the world, add in the swing to the left that's gripping South America, and finally Dubya's inability to get co-operation out of a house and senate dominated by his own party, and I'm starting to feel down right optimistic about the state of world affairs. Further fuelling my optimism is my recent discovery that America does still have some news organizations that are willing to question much of what the US is up to. I highly recommend you check out the perspective given at The Nation.
On a personal note, I'd like to welcome myself back to Thought Processor after a hiatus that became much longer than expected. With any luck I'll be disseminating liberal propaganda on a regular basis from now on. I hope you enjoy and visit often. Don't forget, comments are always welcome.

Friday, March 04, 2005

As I Grow Older, I Grow Wiser

Too bad what I'm learning is that 90% of life is tedium.
Man, I would almost trade jobs with a child labourer right now. At least I'd be working in a warmer climate. And the occasional whippings could be kinky.
I've never appreciated a Friday night as much as I do right now.
God help me, I am Dilbert. But sexier, and with a better name.
I guess I can live with that.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Happy Hiatus!

Or happy end of a happy hiatus, whichever you prefer.
Nothing really earth shattering happened to inspire this blog, I just figured that if I left blogging any longer I'd lose the last of my faithful readers. And when you only start with one or two, you really can't afford to lose that many.
Lots of change in the new year so far. Changed some of my personal habits, which shall remain nameless, but have resulted in my losing a pound or two, so hooray for my belt. Lots of change at work, the most un-fun of which is my co-worker and best hick homey Crys has moved away. This would bring lots more sadness if she had moved any great distance. Fortunately she's only in Liverpool, which is an entertaining and bewildering destination at the best of times.
On the home front things are well. Bri and I haven't seen much of each other, but when we have it's been high quality fun as always. We watched a documentary on Amish people today, which sounds less than fun until I bring up the Amish drug dealers that got busted in the film. Yes, Amish drug dealers. Crystal Meth dealers in fact.
Apparently it happens. Who knew?
Big J and the Hell Hounds are excellent, as always. Well, mainly Big J is excellent, the hounds are cute but misbehaved as usual. Since I'm the only one with the heart, or lack thereof, to discipline them, I've earned myself the nickname of Corporal Punishment. Which would almost sound sexy, if it weren't in relation to pet puppies.
Big plans with the Big J this week include going to see Steve Zissou, and a miraculous second Friday night out in a row! This never happens, so I can only assume it will be fun. I really have no prior evidence to base this on, but can't imagine any night out being a bust. Last Friday brought a high degree of hilarity, cheesy dance music, and only a small hangover.
So here's to a successful reenactment, especially of the last part.