Monday, November 14, 2005

I spy with my little eye...

Around the edges of the Living Room:
Desk, Speakers, Dishrag, Bookshelf, Tupperware, Flame-Retardant Lab Coat, Canadian Defense Magazine, Birthday Cards, Mason Jar, Chair, Lab Manual, two issues of Exlaim! magazine, one wool sock, lamp, empty pint of Crown Royal, dish cloth, garbage, guitar, an box, empty perrier bottle, Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse 5, pair of fake bat wings, plaster casts of feet, the couch, milk crates, board games, a water jug, two 5lb weights (unused), dvds, Light Bright, bath towel, an iron, the other wool sock, "ye olde" ice-cream maker, screen divider, a blue lightbulb, a Louis Armstrong lamp, mostly deflated blue exercise ball, garbage, tv stand featuring: a broken shot glass, a straw chicken getting fucked by a Data action figure, a dirty wine glass, and back to the floor: a blue yoga mat, filing cabinet, light bright box with pegs, Casio keyboard, small table, empty aquarium, a calculator, Beachville Lakeside Timberlea Elementary School Cafeteria menu from 2002, a landscape painting by Bob Hunsley, dirty cloth napkin, a Clue boardgame, an empty cardboard envelope, milk crate, bookshelf, pile of textbooks and Crow Bar labels, set of wrist weights (unused), pair of knit slippers (unused until I was informed just now that they were mine, brand new. Very comfy.), a planter, a pencil, and one double A battery.
It's pretty clear that mom would be appalled.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Psychic Sidekick

Here are my predictions for the upcoming election(s):
1. Conservatives win a minority government.
It's okay, it's only going to last a couple of months, then we'll have a new Liberal government, most likely with Frank McKenna at the head. Much like many Canadians with an ounce of common sense and sanity, I shudder at the thought of a Canada governed by Prime Minister Stephen Harper. *shudder* (see?) However, the thought of Paul Martin winning another election makes me almost as nauseated. Having the conservatives attempt to govern (again, six months at the maximum, more likely 90 days or less) will at least give the Liberals time to cut out all the dead wood (See Mr. Dithers, etc). If things happen this way, then we'll be free of Martin, and Harper after he manages to fuck things up so bad that his government lasts less time than Joe Who's. The Conservatives will dump him, Peter MacKay will get the leadership, and then no one east of Manitoba will ever vote Conservative again because they're a party of useless tools, and they'll be headed by a sooky idiot who can't seem to keep his word or his girlfriend.
2. NDP will pick up seats in urban areas and rural areas with unusually high levels of common sense.
Admittedly, this isn't so much a prediction as a hope. If this does happen, after Harper fucks it up as we all know he will because he's Stephen Harper and it is his cosmic destiny to fuck things up, the NDP will be in a strong position to hold the balance of power under a McKenna government. As a young, gay, pot smoking Nova Scotian university student (see left winger), anything that gives the NDP any kind of power is fine by me.
3. The Green Party will get almost no votes, and disband, and rot in hell.
Seriously, Green Peace has come out and said that the NDP's environmental platform is better than that of the Green Party. You know the Green Party, they're the ones that run solely on environmental issues. Just disband already, and give your votes to the NDP. You don't even have to wrap them. Jack Layton will take them even if you've bent, scuffed, or marked on them. Just go away, stop splitting the left vote, and most importantly GO AWAY.

PS: Don't vote Green.