Thursday, November 10, 2005

Psychic Sidekick

Here are my predictions for the upcoming election(s):
1. Conservatives win a minority government.
It's okay, it's only going to last a couple of months, then we'll have a new Liberal government, most likely with Frank McKenna at the head. Much like many Canadians with an ounce of common sense and sanity, I shudder at the thought of a Canada governed by Prime Minister Stephen Harper. *shudder* (see?) However, the thought of Paul Martin winning another election makes me almost as nauseated. Having the conservatives attempt to govern (again, six months at the maximum, more likely 90 days or less) will at least give the Liberals time to cut out all the dead wood (See Mr. Dithers, etc). If things happen this way, then we'll be free of Martin, and Harper after he manages to fuck things up so bad that his government lasts less time than Joe Who's. The Conservatives will dump him, Peter MacKay will get the leadership, and then no one east of Manitoba will ever vote Conservative again because they're a party of useless tools, and they'll be headed by a sooky idiot who can't seem to keep his word or his girlfriend.
2. NDP will pick up seats in urban areas and rural areas with unusually high levels of common sense.
Admittedly, this isn't so much a prediction as a hope. If this does happen, after Harper fucks it up as we all know he will because he's Stephen Harper and it is his cosmic destiny to fuck things up, the NDP will be in a strong position to hold the balance of power under a McKenna government. As a young, gay, pot smoking Nova Scotian university student (see left winger), anything that gives the NDP any kind of power is fine by me.
3. The Green Party will get almost no votes, and disband, and rot in hell.
Seriously, Green Peace has come out and said that the NDP's environmental platform is better than that of the Green Party. You know the Green Party, they're the ones that run solely on environmental issues. Just disband already, and give your votes to the NDP. You don't even have to wrap them. Jack Layton will take them even if you've bent, scuffed, or marked on them. Just go away, stop splitting the left vote, and most importantly GO AWAY.
~Attila

PS: Don't vote Green.

1 comment:

lucifuge said...

holy christ! i agree with some of this. i too have reached a point of not being into the green party. people are harping about a christmas vote which they should shut up about. i am, however, one of those annoying Canadians who think that frequent elections which show similar results are a huge fucking waste of my coin. i know you can't put a price on "democracy" (you know why i used "s), but seriously, people: red, blue, red, blue, red, blue and always disatisfaction. use another crayon to vote, already: (ahem!)orange(ahem!) seriously-- it can't be much worse than what we've seen so far.