Tuesday, November 02, 2004

The Countdown Ends?

Damn I'm so sick of waiting to see Dubya booted on his ass! I've endured, with varying levels of patience, the non-stop news coverage of tomorrow's election run-up for the past year!
Can you imagine if Canada devoted 365 days to campaign coverage? We'd all vote for Peter Mansbridge or Lloyd Robertson just to get them off the air, we'd be so sick of the sight of them. Not that I'm not sick of seeing Bushy, but that feeling came in the last days of the Clinton admin.
Speaking of which, does anyone else miss the Clintons terribly? Sure they had scandals, but they were funny scandals. I'll take a little errant sperm over errant missiles any day.
While we're on the topic of terms that are (or at least should be) coming to an end, Crystal's boorish ex finally left the nest today. And it only took two whole months for him to leave. Seems he was staying to 'help her financially'. Okay, here's the thing with that. When you weight the pros and cons of this (helping financially vs hurting mentally), this is a pretty ridiculous excuse. Why can't people simply admit when they're just too lazy to do something? Or when they really ARE just there for the oil?
Wasn't that a great segway? If only the scooters ran as smoothly as that did.
But back to the issue here, does anyone else find it funny that our southern neighbours are called the United States of America? Let's put this title to the test, shall we?
United on Abortion? No.
United on Gay Marriage? No.
United on The War? No.
United on Political Affiliation? God no.
Looks like it's time for a name change America! I think The Divided State of America has a lovely ring to it. Challenge time then my friends. This one's going out to any Americans, or Canadians (or Mexicans for that matter) who live near the Canada/DS border. Grab a can of spray paint, and save the DS government a few bucks in sign replacement. It's only fair that visiters be welcomed by accurate signage, or in this case a fair warning.
Only six or so hours to go now. Best of luck to you Mr. Kerry. May the Force (of the entire world's frustration) be with you.
~Attila

3 comments:

Sparky said...

Absolutely brilliant! Bravo!

lucifuge said...

if i were any closer to DS, i would let them know their new name by sockin' it to 'em spraypaint style. by the way, is it too late, bro-- us for president? what was that groundbreaking idea we had yesterday? and yes, i miss the clintons. :-(

lycradog said...

Divided States of America? That's too clever to be freedom-lovin'... That's commie talk, that is! Go back to Romania, pinko!