Masons Beach God Clouds

Masons Beach God Clouds

Anyone wondering why I'm usually so mellow, check this out. This is the view from the patio at the cottage where I grew up. How can you turn out anything but peaceful when you look at this every day?

Colourblind Much?

Colourblind Much?

Or not? These colours are set to stay at least until I get bored of them in 20 minutes. What do you think? Please leave me a comment about the colours, not about the timber industry or cheap viagra.
Thanks.

I want my titles back!

HATEFULNESS AND DEATH!
My wonderful new template didn't show my titles, so in a fit of rage I deleted it entirely.
See me, full of rage.
Full.
Of.
Rage.

Fucketyfucketyfuckfuckdeath.

It's amazing how fast you can type...

It's amazing how fast you can type after drinking a large cappuccino. This whole entry should take less than 20 seconds. Fuck me I think I'm having heart palpitations.
coronary crisis aside, I'm getting ever closer to going back to school. I'm more excited than terrified so far, which I think is a good sign. I've had a couple of good signs so far, in that I've been admitted to major in political science (so expect many more political rants on this blog, sorry Big J) and a did surprisingly well on my French placement test.
Now all I have to do is continue waiting semi-patiently to hear back from student loans. I'm trying to be optimistic but after applying late and waiting a month and a half, I'm starting to get concerned. I think there's a good chance that I'll get my loan, but I don't know how much faith I have in getting it before the September 14th deadline. Not only that, but I'd kind of like to have some money to buy textbooks before school actually starts.
But forget about that, as there's no point in worrying about things you can't change. This is probably going to be the most helpful thing in getting through the next few years of school. I think if more people would wake up and realize that worrying actually doesn't solve anything, and in fact tends to make situations worse, we'd all be a lot better off. Except for therapists of course, who would be out of business by noon the next day.
This is hardly the time to worry anyway, as I've finally been approved for some vacation time. This is not a much needed break. That would be an understatement. This is a 'give me time off before I rip out my own pancreas out of frustration and start force feeding it to random guests' type of vacation. Much much needed, to put it another, slighly more PC way.
In case anyone is wondering when I even learned what the words 'politically correct' meant, that would be right around the same time I learned that one of my managers reads my blog regularly.
That said, hi cutie! Thanks for reading.

Blatant Compliment Fishing

I'll come right out with it. What does everyone think of the new blog layout?
So far I like it but I'm afraid I went a bit overboard with all the blue. Originally it had a white background though and I just couldn't let that continue. Seriously, why would anyone read an entirely white blog? How bland. Hmm, just noticed how that last sentence sounds outrageously racist in the wrong context...

And now I'm being punished.

Holy hell.
So obviously I decided against following all the signs and high-tailing it for Nevada. And now, as a result, I'm fucking sick.
For the second Friday in a row. Correction, the second Friday on which I was supposed to go party downtown with the previously absent Christina-4-Ever (pron fo' evah).
This must be the last time I piss fate off. Hell next time I'll probably end up with ebola or syphilis.
The one great side effect of my illness appears to be a complete lack of guilt at not doing any work. (Hence blogging.) I have an entire inbox jam packed with stupid files crying out for my attention, but my cold seems to have come with a mild case of deafness.
So far my night has consisted of blowing my nose, sitting, blowing my nose, eating chocolate, blowing my nose, sitting, blogging, and blowing my nose. Not too bad overall, although I could really do without the resulting bright red mustache.

If I could do one thing today....

I'd take everything sellable from my apartment down to the pawn shop, pack three changes of clothes and whatever money I could get into my backpack, and start hitchhiking my way to Nevada. Job, apartment, school, bills, and all other trappings of daily life be damned.
Why Nevada? Because that's where the annual Burning Man festival (or event, or community) is held, in the Black Rock Desert.
The funny part about this sudden desire is that it came on this morning for no apparent reason. Nobody mentioned Burning Man, nothing was in the news, no one had even said Nevada in my presence in about eight months or so. Suddenly I want to abandon everything and head to the desert, only to find out that Burning Man is set to take place in 19 days (actually 19 days, 3 hours, and 17 minutes according to the Burning Man Countdown.
According to the way I view the world, this is a sign. A big obvious billboard of a sign. The only problem is, if I leave now I leave behind my daily life. Sounds fun, but my life isn't so bad. Sure it's complicated and occasionally stressful, sometimes dull, but it's mine and it's headed somewhere. I have goals and dreams and plans to accomplish both.
But what if I go? What if I leave tomorrow? What would my life be like if I dropped everything without a word and smashed my daily routine to pieces all because of a gut feeling? Would I regret it later? Or would it be the one moment that defined the course of my life more than any other? And if it is that moment, would my life change for the better or the worse?
I think life is only fun when you look at every day as a serious crossroads. Today seems to be fitting the bill just fine. As of now I'm pretty sure I know which way I'll choose to go. But since I could change my mind any minute now, I don't think I'll write here what my decision is.
Have a nice night either way, and I'll see you all tomorrow.
Maybe.
~Attilla